Finding Pegs for Daily Rituals

We create daily rituals of the things we deem most important. It's in the habit of the daily that we become who we are.

"A habit is what we wear. A habit is the way we wear our days. Wear new habits and your life gets a makeover. Consistently do things at the same time everyday and find yourself a new person. "- Ann Voskamp

Daily rituals help us remember to see God in the ordinary mundane repetitions of life. In the seemingly insignificant things that we do without thinking - sitting, walking, lying down, getting up - there are profound opportunities for creating "remembrances" that draw us to the Lord.

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

                                                     Deuteronomy 6:6-7

My heart deeply desires to be faithful to this calling of discipling my children. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can bring regeneration to their hearts, and I pray that one day He will do what I can not for each of my children...break them. Then may the truths that God has spurred us to share over and over with them soak down into a broken, needy heart and give life to their soul.

Life gets busy quickly, and I need the Lord's wisdom in how to flesh out dischipleship in our home. I don't want to get to the end of the day and realize I simply survived or spent most of my time checking off boxes that got us from A to B to C but did little toward cultivating minds and hearts for Christ.

Daily rituals give us purposeful, significant activities that we do most frequently and regularly and mold the shape of our day and week. Noel Piper in her book Treasuring God in Our Traditions understands the busy parent, and urges us to make use of three effective teaching tools:

• Planning

Without planning a lot of good activities can be done but our teaching occurs in bursts and when our schedule allows for it.

• Repetition

What have your children learned simply because it’s something your family does everyday? What habits are you creating in your family that glorify the Lord?

• Regularity

God is not a God of chaos but order and that should be reflected in some way as we set the order of our day.

The purpose of employing these tools is that I might consistently feed my children on what is true, good, and beautiful because we see Him in it. Rituals are not about accomplishing goals but about abiding in Christ.

And my flesh is weak. I need the help of ritual. Of habit. 

I've found it helpful to look at the habits we've already established in our home and build our daily rituals around those. I've heard it referred to as pegging. I like that.

Peg something you want to do every day... onto something you're already doing every day! For example, meals are primed for pegging. We all have to eat, and it's a habit that usually happens as naturally as breathing. 

What about hanging a peg right before, after, or during...

A car ride that happens every day
Nap or quiet time
Chore time
Bath time

Some of our rituals hung on pegs in our "everyday"...

Breakfast and Bible

Lunch and Character 

Dinner and Honor
(We needed extra help on manners, so dinner time became our peg for it this year!)

Bedtime and Story

Every family is unique, and each of us has to think about our family through God's eyes. What works for one family, won't work well for another.  I ask what happens in my family every day? And start with ONE peg at a time! New habits aren't formed over night and neither are rituals. 

The journey to creating a daily ritual is full of stumbling and falling. 

But the good news is that He is there with us! 

Bringing His presence into your home and inviting your children into it, is what it's really all about anyway. 

As each ritual becomes a part of who we are, the Lord begins to show me other creative ways to intentionally hang pegs throughout the day, and as the seasons change and the children change, I need His wisdom for what truths we need to peg and chew on every single day. 

There are always times and seasons when I feel like I'm failing. 

Red Light. 

I've let too high a view of my ability to shape my children seep in which has equated to too low a view of God's love and trustworthiness. 

He gently reminds me it is good to exert myself for His glory as long as it is truly about His glory. Outcomes  - in my day - in my children - are His work. 

Mom's most important ritual... prayer that

I won't miss the unplanned teachable moments that He sends throughout the day

[T]he eyes of [their] heart may be enlightened, so that [they] may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints  - Ephesians 1:18